How To Be Present

Question?

Dear Sirah,

My whole adult life I have struggled with this whole notion of being in tune with the moment. I realize what a powerful concept it is but how do I become present? GM

Answer:

What is attunement? It is when we seek to understand others. We listen fully and deeply to the person making a point. We allow the full scope and range of feelings to come forward from them without jumping in to present our own opinion in defense of ourselves.

No matter how enlightened we are, we can all improve upon this skill and it is truly worth putting attention on this very important quality. This experience allows for deep connection and greater intimacy. Being sensitive to another’s inner state nurtures a synchronicity flow which leaves us with a full and happy feeling no matter what the content or context.

One thing is for sure, we all crave connection and closeness to other human beings. Living in automatic response does not allow for that, so here are some pointers:

  1. If someone reaches out to you for a personal connection, stop clicking the keys of your computer and listen or if you are too distracted and busy to talk make a time when you can.
  2. Find the place within that feels empathy and allow that to come forward when you listen and receive communication from another.
  3. Listen for something affirming to say and be generous with praise. Being positive keeps your personal vibration at a welcoming level.
  4. If you find yourself uncomfortable about what is being said or negative feelings arise, try immediate forgiveness. This doesn’t mean that you are a doormat, but simply will allow you time to digest what they are saying.
  5. When you say goodbye to someone in person, look in their eyes and say goodbye and their name. If you are on the phone, say goodbye “Jim” (eg).